Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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