i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame