It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.