The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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