He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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