Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
