Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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