you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
