He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
