Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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