Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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