Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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