he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
