Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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