The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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