I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
