And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
