I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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