Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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(209): View more from California

I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.

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(618): View more from Illinois

he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.

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(425): View more from Washington

Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast

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(406): View more from Montana

So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?

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(319): View more from Iowa

HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?

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