he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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