he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
