Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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