So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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