So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
