Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
