If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
even my farts smell like vagina
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
