She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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