Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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