Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
false alarm, still single
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