just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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