..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
