just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
