I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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