I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
