i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
