420 ftw
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
