I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
