My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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