In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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