addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
