he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
