also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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