well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
