It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
