Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
