Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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