I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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