is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
