i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
