Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
