I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
