This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
