Where did you get a picture of my penis
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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