oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
