What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize