She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?