You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...