i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.