The maid of honor just puked.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuck me I smell like cheese