dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November