Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
